D o g g i e  F o o d

“Hello there. My name is Dude.
Would you buy my Doggie Food?”
That Crazy Dude, that Crazy Dude.
I do not like that crazy dude.

 Would you like some Doggie Food.
I do not need some Doggie Food.

 Would you buy some here or there.

 I would not buy some here or there,
I would not buy some anywhere,
I do not need some Doggie Food
Now go away, you crazy dude.

 Would you, could you buy a bag,
If I gave you a free flag?

 I would not, could not buy a bag,
Just to get a silly flag.
 I would not buy some here or there,
I would not buy some anywhere,
I do not need some Doggie Food
I do not need it, crazy Dude.

 Would you please buy some today?
“Buy one, get one free” in May.

 I will not buy one get one free,
Why don’t you just let me be.
I would not, could not buy a bag,
Just to get a silly flag.
I would not buy some here or there,
I would not buy some anywhere,
I do not need some Doggie Food
I do not need it, crazy Dude.

 Would you buy some in the stands,
With a bunch of baseball fans?

 I will not buy some in the stands,
With a bunch of baseball fans.
I will not buy one get one free,
Why can’t you just let me be.
I would not, could not buy a bag,
Even for a free flag.
I would not buy some here or there,
I would not buy some anywhere,
I do not need some Doggie Food
I do not need it, crazy Dude.

 What if, first, you had a dog?

 I do not want a silly dog.

 What if I gave you a free frog?

 What is up with you and free?
I do not want one, can’t you see?
I will not buy a stinking bag,
Not for a frog,
Or for a flag.
Not for a dog,
What’s the matter with you?
Don’t you see what you’re putting me through?

 I won’t buy it in any stands,
Or any stores,
Or with any fans.
I will not buy it,
No way, no how.
I DO NOT NEED YOUR PUPPY CHOW?!
Now I’m giving you to the count of three,
To go away and let me be!
And if you’re not gone when I am through,
I’m gonna @%$@!  &*#@% ^$% #^& out of you!

 OK sir I will go,
I’m just trying to make a living you know.
To get some money to put away,
To send my kids to college one day.
But if that’s not important to you,
Then I will go. I am through………

 Wait a second Mr. Dude,
I will buy your puppy food.
But not because I wanted too,
Just to send your kids to school.

 Oh, thank you sir!
You’re so kind.
Now I can stop
messing with your mind.

 Don’t mention it.
I’m glad that’s done,
That rhyming started to hurt my tongue.

 It kind of started to hurt mine too.
Boy am I glad that is through.
But you know what would really help me out?
If you would buy two bags-
GET OUT!

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